this or that.

Are you ready for a relationship OR do you just want someone to be there?

honestly, i just want someone to be there.

i realized a few weeks ago thats my problem. 

i'm not ready for a relationship.

i just desperately want someone to be there.

i want someone...

i can call after a bad day.

i can call when i'm bored.

i can tell them all the silly thoughts i have.

i can tell them my fears, my dreams, my feelings. 

who can be a child with me.

who will argue with me when i'm wrong.

who can listen to me ramble when i just wanna talk.

who can deal with me just the way i am, flaws and all.

but what i have recently realized is...

i won't have that until i am happy by myself.

no matter how bad i want to have someone...

i wont have anyone until i stop wanting someone.

happiness lies within you.

you are only unhappy if you allow yourself to be unhappy.

and right now i am allowing myself to be unhappy.

thats gotta stop.

goal: learn to be happy WITHOUT having someone there.

i do not need anyone to complete me.

i'll learn one day. 

:)