this is so true...

"She was breaking, but she held on tight. That's how much she loves you, no matter how much she's breaking, no matter how much pain you're causing her, she'll always find a way to fall inlove with you. That's how much you matter to her."

-anonymous

<3

My mind is my own worst enemy.

& keeping all these crazy thoughts of mine inside is only helping it conquer me.

:/

When my own words fail, music speaks.

Deserve You More - Musiq Soulchild

Who, tell me, who knows you better baby than I do
Said it out your own mouth
I aint even got to say it, ooh
you aint got to make an issue, ooh
I aint trying to play the victim, ooh
I'm just trying to make this thing right

How, how could you think that I could ever be better without you
I mean, i could go a few months
But everyday girl I'd be missing you
For me to send you to another dude
the thought of it is so depressing ooh
You & I both know that we needs this thats why

I'm explaining...what I'm fighting for
girl, theres no one who deserves you more
so stop subscribing to those crazy thought
cause there's no one who deserves you more
who gave you love?
dont change on me. dont change baby
I'll go halfcrazy if you choose to leave
Thats why I'm explaining...what I'm fighting for
girl, theres no one who deserves you more
deserves you more...

We don't often talk about it baby but we know its true
its true, that you were insecure once
cause someone really did you dirty, ooh
But I encouraged you to make it through
Showed you special was apart of you
You did the same for me too

So girl I thank you and I'm so thankful
for the times where we rise and we fall
nights when we laugh and we talk
let's not break up, lets be grateful
that the strain of our arguements only brought us closer spite of it all

I'm explaining...what I'm fighting for
girl, theres no one who deserves you more
so stop subscribing to those crazy thoughts
cause there's no one who deserves you more
who gave you love?
dont change on me. dont change baby
I'll go halfcrazy if you choose to leave
Thats why I'm explaining...what I'm fighting for
girl, theres no one who deserves you more

We spend more time on our problems
instead of trying to work them out to get better
However, lets turn this negative into a positive baby
You believe in you and I
I feel theres a need to try
If I don't fight, i'll regret it for the rest of my life

I'm explaining...what I'm fighting for
girl, theres no one who deserves you more
so stop subscribing to those crazy thoughts
cause there's no one who deserves you more
who gave you love?
dont change baby, dont change baby
I'll go halfcrazy if you choose to leave
Thats why I'm explaining...what I'm fighting for
girl, theres no one who deserves you more

Facebook...

Part of the reason (actually pretty much all of the reason) I deleted my facebook (and twitter for that matter) was because little things I would see on either of these social networks would make me mad! It was little stupid stuff too. Comments, relationship statuses, picture comments, tweets, etc...

Really only ever in reference to him

So I deleted it. Decided it was not worth my stress. Well now, my roommate is telling me things she sees on facebook. I kinda wish she didn't. I didn't want to know. I don't want to know what is on his facebook, twitter, or any other social network. This is kinda bothering me on the inside, but i'm trying to just let it go. I mean it's just facebook! Just because it is on facebook does not mean that it is true. That is what I keep telling myself. I wish these things didn't irritate me so much.

I'm pretty sure any other girl would probably be freaking out and asking a million angry questions right now. But not me. I'm just going to ignore it.

:) <3.>

Tonight...

I'm going to have a longggggg talk with God. 

A very long talk. We have A LOOOOOT to talk about. 

There are quite a few things I need cleared up.

This constant confusion is killing me softly.

& hopefully after my long talk with Him...

I can have a long talk with my boyfriend.

Yes, somethings need to be discussed

But I would almost rather just lay and talk to him for hours about nothing.

I think that may help.

I don't know.

I need to see him, soooooon.

I just want to hold him.

and kiss him.

I mean, sex would be cool too...

But it's really not at the top of my list.

This being in love thing is complicated.

But I wouldn't have it any other way. 

:)

off/on

4 turn offs:

1. Arrogance. 2. Extreme sagging. 3. Lack of ambition. 4. Lack of depth.

3 turn ons:

1. BEAUTIFUL smile :). I love those. <- thats how he got me hooked, lol :).  2. Ambition. 3. Sense of humor.

1. MOMMYYY! <3. 

2. My big brothers. [NAJA & JW]

3. The boyfriend. [EC]

4. THE best friend. [LRT]

5. Brailyn & his daddy, Ross. :)