i need a time machine.

...i wanna be a doctor.

dr. zakia, the forensic psychologist.

i wanna be a mrs. 

and i wanna be a mommy. 

tomorrow. not forever from now.

i wanna skip college.

i wanna skip dating.

[although the loss of the process of falling in love would suck]. 

i wanna skip being pregnant and having a baby.

i wanna skip getting a doctorate. 

i wanna skip this pain.

i just wanna be happy. 

not a fan.

i do NOT like the mentality i've had here lately.
i'm walking around unhappy, very unhappy.
i'm not too sure what is/was causing it.
and to be honest i don't really care.

i'm done with it.
i have SO many things to be thankful for.
there are more blessings than i can count in my life.
yeah, everything is not exactly as i want it to be
and there are some struggles
but life without struggle is purposeless because you won't learn.

so i'm embracing anything i struggle with.
i'm taking it as a blessing in its own way because it will teach me something in the long run.

new mentality.
i'm focused on school.
i'm focused on my dreams.
i'm focused on those whom i love and love me back the same.
and i'm focused on God, and making my relationship with him stronger.
thats ALLLLLL i care about.

once i get my life back in order.
i'll consider adding other things to my focus list.
but right now these are ALLLL i can handle.

:)

watch & read.

click the question.
what does it mean to be black to you??

i HATE feeling like...

...everything is my fault. 

no matter what i do or how i do...it's WRONG.

and yet no one will tell me the right thing to do.

*sigh*.

#truestory

...i hide my emotions behind my ambitious mentality because i don't think i'll ever obtain what i truly want. 

this is for my (best) friend.

dear (best) friend, 

you are possibly the most amazing person in this WHOLE entire world. I love him more than he (or anyone) will ever understand. Excluding my mommy & my brother i love this kid more than i love anyone else in the whole entire world. he is ALLLWAYYYYSSS there for me with WHATEVER i need. i'm so glad he is in my life, and whether he likes it or not he is stuck with me. i'll ALWAYS be here. sooo...ELEMUEL COLEMAN this is for you baby. i love you soooooo much. when it's as perfect as it is on paper in real life things will be UHH-MAZEEEE-INGG! can't wait :).

love, 

your (best) friend